Does happy really equal pretty?

I have mentioned before on this blog that Audrey Hepburn was quoted as saying, "I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls." 

If this were a facebook post, some of my more dour friends might immediately take issue with it.

"Of course she was happy. She was beautiful."
"Of course she was happy. She was rich."
"She must have been a Democrat."
"She must have been a Republican."

"What about people who are born into horrific circumstances? Surely they can never be happy or pretty."

Oh! But they can!

I am reading a book titled "Born Survivors" by Wendy Holden. It's the story of three young women who gave birth in a concentration camp. I cannot imagine being born into more desolate, hopeless circumstances.

But the three babies lived -- and so did their mothers. And I met two of the "babies" (now 71 years old) when they appeared with the author and the sons of two of their liberators in my town.

These two people, a man and a woman, were two of the most beautiful people I had ever seen. 

At 3 weeks old, Hana was covered in boils when her saviors found her and took her from her mother in order to treat her. They then returned her to her mom, and she grew up and became a lovely, contributing member of society.

"Why are you not bitter?" an audience member asked her. This is what I was thinking: "How can you sit there and speak so calmly and eloquently about the nightmare that your mother lived through (at the hands of monsters) to bring you into the world?"

I don't remember her exact answer, but it had to do with not letting bitterness take hold. Her mother wasn't bitter. And she learned from her not to be bitter.

Hana and her mom, 1949

Hana still has scars where her boils were lanced, medicated and stitched, but they have not made her ugly. She has the knowledge that the Nazis killed her father, but it has not made her an angry and unhappy person.

Some may say that's impossible. Some may say it's her right to be bitter. So I give you this quote from Hana's mother, Priska, who lived to age 90:
"I had a beautiful life with my child after I...gave birth to her in a concentration camp...My daughter is very precious...I thank dear God that he gave me this love that I have for my daughter. I survived. We are here. I brought home a baby. That is the most important thing."

I have not finished the entire book, which chronicles the lives of the three women both before and after the camps. It is a hard book to read. I took it to the beach in Florida and read it as the tide calmly rolled in and out in front of me.

In my hands I held the story of one of the ugliest times in history, but in my view was one of the most beautiful sights on earth.

Somehow, this seemed fitting. This world, this life, is a mystery. It's not ours to know it completely, but to survive and to love. Those are the most important things.

More of the quote...

 What else I did at the beach:

!

 

Ages and stages, and someday, songs

I have a friend, wheelchair-bound with M.S., who always used to say, "We go through ages and stages."

She doesn't say it anymore. In her mind, she probably does, but her mouth  can no longer form the words. 

Twenty years ago, the ages and stages were babies and toddlers and aging parents.

Now, the parents are gone, the children are grown, and I find myself worrying about other ages and stages. The friend in Houston who just lost her job. The friend who is in Georgia with her dad holding her mom's hand as she slips  away. The friend down the street who is in a wonderful place in her life after years of digging herself out of depression.

The daughter who is ecstatic in a new apartment in her favorite part of the city. The one who is growing a new baby while watching her other two grow like weeds.
 
I have been in car crashes and wept for childhood friends who died young. I watched a tornado from my backyard and rode out a hurricane. I lost a baby in the womb and a mother way too soon. 

But I won a spelling bee and went to prom. I was in a college play and earned a degree. I've yearned to escape home and been so homesick that I could barely swallow.

I've been to Russia and Belize, Paris and London, Montreal and Mexico. And I hope the ages and stages allow me to travel more... back to Ireland and someday to Italy.

Someday, someone will hold my hand (I hope) as I fade away to my final home, where the ages and stages will cease, along with the tears and the yearning for things I don't have.

And I'll see my friend there, sans wheelchair, with a beautiful voice, singing.






 

Phones are pretty -- in your purse

They say there are two seasons in Chicago: winter and construction.

Well, it's finally construction season! Yay! 

The hot is back. The humid is back. The orange cones are back.

So are the weddings, the festivals, the dinners on the patio.

Work-related events seem to flourish at this time of year, too. I will be attending my Kiwanis Club's centennial anniversary celebration next week, and last week I attended the annual United Way Breakfast along with about 400 others.

I am extremely outgoing and love talking to people. That's what you're supposed to do when you find yourself sitting at a table with people you don't know, right? Introduce yourself. Give the elevator speech about your job. Find out where your table mates are from and what they're doing this weekend. You know, talk.

But at this breakfast, there really was very little of that going on at my table. I took an empty seat next to a man who was at least 40. The table filled in with mostly 50-somethings and older; all nicely-dressed professionals.

From the time I sat next to the man on my left until the time we all got up to leave, he was engrossed in his phone. He didn't greet me or ask my name. He didn't look up at all. Same with the guy to his left. At least some of the women on my right seemed interested in conversing. Until the speakers took the stage.

Then more phones popped up around the table. We were very close to the stage where I'm sure the speakers could see that very few at our table were engaged with what was going on in the room.

The same scene was repeated at the table next to mine, and many of the others.

I remember back in the day before texting became common, when people would actually answer their cell phones during such a gathering. And they would actually talk on said phones as if they were the only ones in the room. That has subsided. But to me, it's just a bit less annoying to see people scrolling around on their phones, typing, texting and reacting to things they read.

It's not pretty! It's not polite! Stop it!

Now on to more fashion-y things.

I have been breaking out the spring-summer staples lately, and it feels awesome to go sockless again!

My photographer friend discovered some really cool places for photos recently, and although the weather was cool, so was the experience. And neither of us had our phones out the whole time! Go figure!

Hanging out in my grey Anthro pants and pink Forever 21 shirt. (Same style, but in blue)

Acting cool in my pink sunglasses and moto jacket.

Always have a jacket with you in case it turns chilly or you go into a cold restaurant. Here are some motos you might like: 
Express, Free People at Macy's, Anthropologie

I plan to be going lots of phoneless places this summer -- upward and onward!

Friends Over (and Under) 50 and the great biannual clothing swap

A few years ago, I thought it would be a superb idea to have a clothing swap with my friends.

We all have stuff in our closets we haven't worn in years, so why not purge and share?

I decided to do the swap the night before our subdivision garage sale. That way, all the leftovers could go straight into my garage the next morning. 

That was about five swaps ago. The latest one was last night.  

We start at 6 on a Friday night, and most people come a bit early or on time. If you come late, you may only be able to watch as someone scoops up that really cute skirt and ushers it into her take-home pile.

The spring 2016 swap

We each claim a corner of my living/dining room so we can pile up the things we want to keep. The things we bring, we lay out on the couch, chairs and floor. 

And then there is the food. Cheese. Hummus. Salsa and guacamole and chips. Gluten-free cake. Peanuts. Goat cheese with apricot jam. Cheesecake. Blackberries, raspberries and melon. Veggies and ranch dip. Cabbage rolls and pita bread. And all manner of drinks. Everyone brings what they like and enough to share.

It's a spectacle to behold. Clothing strewn everywhere; ladies in varying degrees of dress and undress; one woman asking another for a zip or a tuck or an opinion. 58 pairs of black dress pants and 43 black skirts. Yes, we are a group of working women, and I realized during the first swap that we are ALL always in search of that perfect black skirt or pair of black trousers. 

The autumn 2014 swap

We drift in and out of the kitchen, grabbing a chip and dip and a bite of conversation. Sometimes we pull up a chair and have a deep one-on-one conversation with another woman. Sometimes we all try to talk over one another. 

By the end of the evening, most of us are in the kitchen picking at fruit and sweets, talking and laughing. By 8 p.m. several have left for other parties. By 10 p.m., a couple more leave to see a favorite band at a favorite establishment. By 11 p.m., four or five of us are still sitting in the kitchen.
Every once in awhile, we will wonder where so-and-so went, and will find her "shopping" one last time in the living room.

We are all so different -- some of us are WAY under 50, but all of us are younger than 60. We are librarians, fundraisers, marketers, designers, attorneys and artists. The older women "school" the younger ones in the ways of life and love.

We end the evening with an embrace and I watch the women run out into the rain with their boxes and bags of treasures. In my new dress and hat.

:)

Sleeping with the windows open... and other sweet vacation memories

Sunset over Sedona

Arizona -- the perfect April vacation state!

It happened to be a hot week for us Chicagoans, yet a relatively cool week for Arizonans. That means it was perfect for swimming and shopping and eating al fresco.

And sleeping with the window open.

I think the one thing I miss the most during the winter months is not being able to sleep with a breeze coming in the window.

Warm breezes are the most heavenly things. Right up there with baby kisses and waffles. And farmers' markets...

...and sunsets, which are gorgeous in Arizona. We were lucky enough to visit Sedona for a day and watch the sun set in front of us and the moon rise behind us.

Going from the chill of Chi-town to the sizzle of the southwest is the perfect time to pack those long-neglected summer clothes and sandals.

When I'm on vacation, though, sometimes it doesn't much matter what I wear. Makeup? Almost nonexistent. High heels? No thanks. Just a nice sundress and my favorite gladiators.

I always like to ponder that Audrey Hepburn quote, "I believe happy girls are the prettiest girls," when I feel a little less than pretty. And then I slap on a smile!

It's rough staying cheery once you're back to work and clearing out 500 emails, but the memories of a week in the sun are worth it.

Arizona style at the Farmers' Market

The biggest lemons ever at the Gilbert Farmers' Market

Leanin' on a palm tree in my Mud Pie dress.

The prettiest trucks are the pinkest trucks. Pepto-Bismol, anyone?

LuLaRoe: Pretty and comfy

Just a quick post this morning before I get this day going and finished so I can feel calm and collected when I go out of town early early tomorrow morning.

Off to Phoenix tomorrow!

But I wanted to write about an awesome LuLaRoe pop-up boutique I went to last night at my neighbor's house.

It was fun to be able to walk across my yard and go shopping for fun, quirky, soft, comfortable clothing! Her home was transformed into a pop-up shop with clothing from sizes XXS to 3XX in women's and 2T to 14 in girls. Cute stuff! Very cool prints and patterns on skirts, dresses, tops, leggings and kimonos!

Anna Timmerman was the LuLaRoe rep that made it all come together! Of course she was gorgeous in her fit and flare dress (a style which I am almost always too long-waisted for). I tried on just about everything in a size medium, but settled on a cute top and two skirts.

I wore one of the skirts today with a top that was a gift from my younger daughter. Luckily, it is supposed to be in the low 70s today, so it's a great day for fun, bright colors! I think this will be going into my suitcase later today, too. Perfectly light and fun for Arizona!

Love!

 

I had never heard of LuLaRoe before about a week ago, so maybe you haven't either. If you're not into bright and quirky, it's not for you. But if you're into fun and comfy, take a look.

Happy weekend!

 

The 15-minute swimsuit caper

There is an outlet store very close to my home.

Surely, they will have swimsuits there, I thought. Probably oodles of them. And there will be ONE that fits and that I like, and that is somewhat comfortable.

But, no.

Store after store after store. No swimsuits. At all.

When you don't have a suit -- make do with a dress!

With my vacation to Phoenix coming up soon, I absolutely had to find at least one. 

On my way to lunch today, I noted that I was about 15 minutes ahead of schedule. Enough time to stop in at a store and look for a swimsuit!

Not enough time, you say?

You don't know me! I thought I could do it, and so I did.

When I turned into the mall where the restaurant was located, I saw that it practically shares a parking lot with a Kohl's store. Bingo!

I parked, went in, asked where the suits were, grabbed two, found the fitting room, and pulled them on just enough to see if they would fit over my bum. Success!

Lucky for me, they were 30 percent off. And... wonder of wonders, if I signed up for a charge card, I would get another 25 percent off. So of course, I took the extra three minutes to do that. I had about 30 seconds to spare when I sprinted out of the store, threw my purchases in the car and strolled over to the restaurant to meet my lunch dates.

That's the thing, I think, about living in your body for 50 or more years. You get to know it! So it wasn't too hard to quickly find a couple that worked.

Here's a picture of the swimdress I bought! Click the image to check it out at Kohl's.

And here's the top of the other one:

The bottom is like a short pair of shorts.
Soon I will have some pictures to share of the fam in Arizona... until then, happy almost-the-weekend!